the right before

The footsteps behind you match your heartbeat
They mirror your pace as it quickens

click click click
beat beat beat

If you look behind you, what would you see? Would it matter; would you survive to tell the tale? Is it all tall tales?

If you looked behind you, would you see resurrections of lives past?
The ones you forgot and let go of?
The ones you hid away from?

Are they
catching up to you?

Something more than memories
triggered inside of you

Some people don't feel the things you feel when they remember
Some people don't relive it
The tastes, smells..
the despair, foreboding, or even the joy.

You go back to right before.
Right before events and wonder, would it be different if they had never been realized?
Would you be different?
Do you want to be?

The right before, when you were blissfully ignorant, unbothered. Unchanged.

Some people, those closest to you, tell you that the right befores all the way up to the right afters made you who are you now- stronger, more compassionate.

God never said that he would never give you something you can't handle - old wives' tale...tall tales. He said the exact opposite, so that you would call to him.

You believe those people, mostly. They were there through the right befores and afters. You trust their judgment that they saw something inside of you ignite into a strength as a result of the happenings. Nobody sees themselves as others see them. Nobody.

But today, today it's more than memories. You feel the footsteps behind you and your heartbeat in tandem.


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