what it feels like

what it feels like

is that everything is normal 
and cookie cutter 
and white washed
pavement black as tar
just how it should be

and everything was just how it was the day before

 then an 18 wheeler plows into you
flips your car over
out of nowhere
and you're left stunned
wondering how you got here
upside down
windshield shattered
buckled in and suffocating

the exhale is a struggle
racked with all the things you can't fix
ragged with all the hurt you want to absorb from other people 
and all of your own wounds you want to cut out from yourself.

 you're told to choke it down
but nobody understands
what it feels like



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