Brielle excerpt

This is a short excerpt from a story that I've been working on for about ten years :)



The next day, Bri’s phone was still cracked and her knee still hurt. But it was the day. Bri felt it in her bones as she stretched awake at the usual noon. She had been looking online, trying to figure out when the acceptance/rejection letters from South Naples Prep School would go out, and it looked like it was this week. It was already Friday, so…
            She pulled on some Victoria’s Secret sweats and a tee that were both nestled on her floor and then bounced down the stairs, not bothering to get shoes as she strode out the front door. There was a huge oak towering over her driveway, with Spanish moss swaying from its branches, so the asphalt wasn’t hot on her bare feet. She reached their mailbox, which was red with daisies painted on it, and held her breath as she opened it. She didn’t even go back inside as she searched for her letter. Halfway through the stack (of bills), she was beginning to think maybe they didn’t even get her application. Then what was she going to do? This was her last chance to go; she was a senior this year. She had to go! They had an amazing English department. Last year, the kids got to go on a sort of tour of Florida, hitting up and participating in all the poetry readings on the way.
            Then she struck diamonds, or coal if it was a rejection. The letter. Something welled up inside her as she wandered back to her open front door. She threw the bills onto the small table to the left of the door and made her way over to the couch with her letter. It was a long, thin white envelope with blue writing. Addressed to Miss Brielle Loving, 523 Palmetto Way, Clearwater, Florida, 33760.
She melted onto the couch slowly…took a large intake of breath into her already full lungs…and tried to stifle the shaking in her fingers as she peeled the flap from the rest of the envelope. The two pages inside were very thick, which felt satisfying in her hands. She unfolded and only needed to read the first seven words to know her fate for the next year.
            “Dear Miss Brielle Loving, we are pleased…”
            A little squeal escaped, and she loped upstairs to get her phone. She sent out two identical texts: “I’m in,” one to Alex and the other to Tanya. Tanya immediately called her.
            “Ahhhhhh!” she exclaimed when Bri answered the phone. Brielle joined in the squeal and actually started jumping up and down. Then she stopped, looking around to see if anyone saw her. In her bedroom. Yeah.
            “Oh my gosh, chica! I knew you’d get in though. You’re like a genius. Speaking of geniuses, did you know that Shakira is a genius? Yeah, her IQ is like 140 or something…”
            “Hey! Can we focus on me and not your girl crush for a sec? I just got into South Naples Preparatory School for Girls! Ahhhhh!”
            “Okay, yes, you’re right! Let’s celebrate, yeah? We should get Alex and Mario together and go out!” Tanya exclaimed. Bri was stoked about this idea and was mentally preparing her outfit when Tanya continued,
            “Hey, what’d your ma say?”
            Her mom? The one who didn’t even know that she applied in March? That mom? Uhhhh…
            “She’s excited,” Bri lied. She’d tell Tanya the truth later, but today was her day. She didn’t want anything ruining it. No emotional response from her mother. She honestly didn’t know how she’d react. Mad that she applied without telling her? Sad that she was leaving? Maybe she’d be proud and happy for Bri, like a normal mom should be. Maybe Bri wasn’t giving her mom enough credit. Then again, Mickey wasn’t a normal mom. She went on benders like four times a week and never even finished high school. And her name was Mickey for God’s sake. Why would she be happy that her daughter would not only finish high school, but would also do it in major style? Going to this school pretty much guaranteed a full ride to college somewhere. So wait, why wouldn’t her mom be happy? Bri just didn’t know, and her emotions were all mixed up now. Which was just what she didn’t want today.
            “Sooo, where do you wanna go? We’ll do whatever you want tonight!” Tanya was saying.
            “Ah, I don’t know. Listen, let me call you back. I’ll figure something out for us to do tonight. I have to call Alex.”
            “Okay sweetie! Tell me soon so I can figure out what to wear. Smooches!” Tanya said and hung up. She never waited for anyone to say bye.
            Bri felt a rising panic of having to tell her mom the news, but tried to gulp it down and think about what to do that night.
            Later that evening, Brielle was dressing in a short white summer dress, gold wedges, and gold jewelry. She had curled her hair, which she never did because it took almost as long as it usually took her to get completely ready, which was like thirty minutes. She was strictly a sweats and jeans type of person.
She had decided on a restaurant in town called La Comida Hermosa to which Tanya had protested initially. “I eat tamales like every night at home!” But then she conceded defeat; it wasn’t her night. Bri was excited and starving. The only thing she had eaten all day was a grapefruit and a Butterfinger.
“Heeey, we’re here! And hungry!” She heard Tanya’s voice drift up from down in the living room. Bri had left the front door open for them. She took one last look in the mirror, and then headed downstairs.
“Hi guys!” She chirped. Mario stepped forward and took her hand and kissed it.
“Hello gorgeous,” he said. Bri tittered, and Tanya rolled her eyes.
“You’re never this charming to her when Alex is around, estupido,” Tanya said and Bri laughed.
Thank you, Mario. You look very handsome,” Bri said. And it was true; Mario was a very cute guy. Tanya hugged Bri and said,
“You do look gorgeous, sweetie. You’re missing some lipstick though. Here,” she said and pulled out some very red MAC lipstick from her black beaded handbag.
“Oh no no, I was just going to wear some lip gloss. You know I don’t wear lip-“ but Tanya was already slathering the rouge on her lips.
“Okay, now kiss yourself,” Tanya said. Bri did as she was instructed, and Alex walked in.
“Hey guys. And you,” he said as he walked over to Bri and held both her hands as he looked at her.
“Hey you,” he said with his searching look that always made her feel like she and he were the only two people in the room. She smiled, warmed.
“Why don’t you ever look at me like that,” Tanya said and slapped Mario on the arm. Mario mock stumbled back, saying,
“Ouch, mujer! You don’t know your incredible strength,” and rubbing the spot where she had swat him. Tanya couldn’t stifle a small smile, though she was trying hard.
“Oh whatever. Come on guys. I’m about to eat this couch.” She said and made for the door. However, Mickey walked in then. She seemed a little surprised to see all these guests in her living room.
“Oh, you all look so nice!” She squealed and clapped.
“What is the occasion?” She asked of the room as she tossed her keys into the bowl on the table to the left of the door. She stared, an expectant smile fixed on her face. Tanya cut a look to Bri.
“Thanks Ms. Loving…um it’s for Br-“ She started, but Bri cut her off.
“It’s for Mario’s birthday!” She said loudly, walking toward Mario and putting an arm around him. Mario caught on and said,
“Yep. I’m 24 today,” smiling at Mickey.
“Well oh my goodness! I didn’t know that! Happy birthday, Mario. You guys have fun then. I’m going to take a bubble bath and have a glass of wine.”
“Okay mom, that sounds great! I’ll be back later!” Bri said, still more loudly than necessary. Tanya furrowed her brow and said goodbye to Mickey on her way out, Alex and Mario in tow after her.
“Whose car are we taking?” Bri chattered. Tanya waited until Mario closed the door behind them and then said,
“Mario’s birthday is in December, Bri.” Bri closed her eyes and turned around.
“I…didn’t tell my mom yet. She doesn’t know that I applied,” she said and braced herself.
“Brielle! Infierno!” Tanya started, but Bri cut her off. Mario and Alex shared a look in the background.
Listen. I just really don’t want to tell her yet. I don’t know how she’ll react. She’s early! She never gets home this early. I didn’t know – “
“You leave in two weeks, Bri. Two weeks and you’re gone until Thanksgiving, and you haven’t told this woman?” Tanya had a soft spot for Bri’s mom and always had. Her dad had left when she was a baby too, and she saw what it had done to her own mother.
“That’s not true! I’m coming home like every weekend- I already told you that! It’s only not even three hours away, and you guys can come visit me you know,” she said more sternly than she meant to. She didn’t like that Tanya was trying to make her feel bad, not today.
“Dios mio, Brielle Frances Loving,” Tanya said and tsked. She tried to walk past Bri, to her car, but Bri caught her arm.
“I’m going to tell her, Yaya. Obviously, I’ll have to. But I just really wanted today to be about me, not my mother’s hysterics.”
Tanya stared at her friend for a moment.
“Okay. Fine, you’re right. I’m sorry, didn’t mean to freak out. And today is about you. We’re all really proud of you,” she said with a small smile. “Come on,” she continued and got in the passenger seat of her Camry.


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